The hardest lesson I have had to learn is that no matter what choices another person is making, what they think, say or do…IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
My response to that piece of information always started with, But…
The reality is there is no but. The lesson, of course, is not that their behavior or actions are none of my business, but that I am not living in my own truth. I am not keeping the focus on me and how I show up. Clearly, it’s easier for me to look at others and dictate their choices than it is for me to see myself for who I really am.
“Be the change you want to see in the world” is automatically translated in my broken ‘thinker’ as “Help others to be the change I want to see in the world!”
I am a full-time job.
I have to be very aware of my own "good ideas" and remain diligent about how I show up; Show up in my home, in meetings, at the grocery store, at work and with my friends and family. I am constantly realizing how HARD that can be for me. It's so much easier to help others. Especially others I don't know. ((sigh))
From any podium, I often share that I believe I know what each of the audience members should be wearing, what time they should have arrived and where they should be sitting! And I’m not even kidding, kinda. My head starts to organize what I see outside of me because making plans that are impossible to enact somehow seems easier than to be of service in the moment. My greatest challenge is to accept the given circumstances and live within them!
“Given Circumstances” is a phrase common to actors – who must take the facts of the script or the given circumstances, the who, where, what and how – and to bring to life the why. Oddly enough, to do this as an actor means to leave your own reality behind and live in the facts offered to you by the playwright. I think the more difficult mission is to acknowledge the actual circumstances of your life and live in those facts…in Faith and in Service. As my friend Janet would say, “Shiiiiiiiiit”. Now THAT is hard.
When I mentor others, I find that once we agree the simple daily choices they can make in order to live a more conscious life, then helping them learn the difference between their business and none-of-their-business becomes our greatest opportunity of working together. I don’t know if that’s true for everyone – but I have seen it be a clear issue for so many who have a consciousness of the need to grow
in order to be who they were meant to be rather than who they are
be-ing in their lives in the moment.
I cannot count the number of times I have said, in many forms: It’s none of your business. None. Of. Your. Business. Unless you have an agreement with this particular individual or ownership in the business, giving you some sort of decision rights in their life – it’s none of your business. This is often followed with a “But…” and finally, “NONE of your fucking business.”
and then uproarious laughter…because it’s ludicrous that once that conversation has been had, that we would have to have it again. (At least that’s what my sponsor would say…LOL) Because I’m the first one to forget that I am my only responsibility, my primary project, my necessary focus if I am to experience peace and if I will be able to truly serve others. I am my only business.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, let me tell you about my ex… (just kidding) Told it you was hard work!!
