What a difference a spiritual life can make?
I had been in love before and been married before, as had he. The difference for both of us was the acceptance of a power greater than ourselves individually before we ever met and then as a family. We have come to believe and understand that, if we serve God and those about us, we will have a life beyond our wildest dreams. This has been (and continues to be) our experience.
Every challenge we have had, and there have been several, has been met with love and compassion – both for ourselves and others. What I’ve learned walking with this man is that God will make a way for that which best serves Him and the world in that moment in time.
I’ve also learned that I have the ability to change my thinking, which is not the same as changing my mind.
How everything changes when I assume positive intent?! When I choose to believe that this person I love would never intentionally hurt me, but is acting out of his own discomfort or fear – then, then and only then, can I be a partner. Only then can the love I feel for him trump the fear I have of getting hurt; only then can I trust that God has us and this is something we get to learn together. My husband has helped me to see that part of loving is Faith.
In past relationships (of all kinds), my fear of being hurt was greater than everything else; greater than the possibility of a miracle, greater than the willingness to grow, greater than my Faith in any idea of God. I looked for a person to give me Faith – instead of coming to believe that I stand at the gateway of infinite possibilities at all times – and allowing the Universal Mind to introduce me to my life partner.
Having faith in God first and foremost has allowed me to trust another person so completely that I am able to live most days confident that together we are doing what is best for us and for those we love and those who love us.
I have second-guessed myself most of my life. Usually silently, so as not to become an emotional burden to those around me. (Which is bullshit, by the way, that was my fear of being wrong that kept me from asking for help.) However, in the years just before meeting my husband, I had lost my ability to see anything in my life objectively…I was collapsing on the inside – and my life was caving in around me. When I became so distraught that my physical health was affected, I finally took drastic action; the action that I knew had been needed for some time.
Once I let go of my idea of what my life should look like, I began taking small steps, as they appeared in front of me, willing to go wherever they led. I let my ‘career’ go – and began simplifying my life and my work. I kept my eyes to the sky and asked for help from above and direction from others that I trusted. I began to believe my own heart and follow the pull that I felt deep inside and that landed me in front of this man. A generous, kind, compassionate, trustworthy, energetic, and thoughtful individual who knows without a shadow of a doubt that he is not at risk as long as he is in Faith.
For the last three years we have devoted ourselves to God and our family – learning to handle all sorts of things along the way. My gratitude for this partnership goes way beyond simply having him in my life. I am better for having met him and better still for being loved by him.
Never give up hope – the plan is in place, if we can but accept that, it will unfold as quickly as we are willing to go on the adventure, there is HOPE!
