…especially the memory-makers.
Throughout my childhood, whether in Indiana, Missouri or California, Johnny would show up (often in the middle of the night) with presents, laughter and love…so much love. He was outrageous, fearless and kind (but he had/would cut a bitch, no doubt) – and he was my mother’s best friend in the first chapter of her adult life who held a special place in her heart always.
Paul and I did “Under Milkwood” together in Chicago in the early 90’s. We swapped ‘Charlotte’ stories (that being the name of both our mothers) and laughed. No, really L A U G H E D ! We find each other wherever we land, LA, NY, Chicago…wherever. I don’t know that I am his best audience, but I am sure I could give another adoring fan a run for their money.
The truth about each of these men is no matter when we re-enter each other’s lives, it is as if no time has passed. There is an unspoken agreement that we will always be connected. My best acting teacher ever used to say that truly great actors always make “the intimate choice” – breaking the barrier of appropriate or polite. That is what these two men do – they make the intimate choice; as if to say, “I know you, I get you – no matter what”. Which, in turn, allows me/us to do the same.
Paul is currently doing a vlog on his You Tube Channel, called “Conversations with My Mother During a Pandemic”. It’s hysterical – and by sharing it with me, he brought us back together again after a few years apart. We connected via texts, laughter and “Smith Corona”.
Johnny is currently…well, he’s, uh, dead. My mom found out last night that he shuffled off his mortal coil in January at home with his amazing, loving husband, Bob.
The picture is of Johnny, taken on March 7, 1988 – when he drove from San Francisco to Monterrey to whisk me away to his home for an overnight. We found out together that Divine had died. So we spent the entire evening looking at bits and pieces of all of Divine’s movies – and sharing stories of my growing up years with Bob. That was the last time I saw him.
Johnny and Paul make memories for people. The heightened energy of their lives demands attention be paid to the moment. When attention is paid in the moment, memories are burned into our consciousness in a way that ordinary living cannot do.
These two Italian men changed the lives of these two women – for the better and forever. I wouldn’t have thought to ask Santa for one, but I am certainly grateful that the universe delivered.
If you don’t have one of your own, I strongly encourage you to get one. You really don’t know what you’re missing!
